Thursday, October 1, 2009

Tempting, Tasty Twilight

I've said it before, and I stand by my assertion that Catherine Hardwicke made some monumental mistakes in the adaptation of the Twilight book to the big screen...the most notable being the awkward and unsatisfying meadow scene that robbed us of the intimacy Stephenie wrote about in her book.

Even typing about it almost a year later, I can feel the void...the desperate longing clawing at my insides. It's the same empty feeling I get when I realize the pimply-faced kid at Mickey D's forgot the extra tartar sauce on my Filet O' Fish. At times like these, I clutch my dog-eared paperback to my chest and re-read the meadow chapter so that I can have my "satisfaction".

Or...I look at this photo.

There...that's better.

That having been said, Catherine's casting was nothing short of genius. Every single cast member brings a unique brand of beauty to the movie, and there's something for everyone. The Cullen boys are the perfect example. Each one has their own flavor, and heck if there aren't days when I just want a smorgasbord. Hitch me up to the buffet girls...Mama's hungry and here's what's on the menu!

Jackson....Jaxson....Jax. Ladies...Jackson is my appetizer. His creamy, flawless complexion and riveting eyes just really whet a girl's whistle if you know what I mean.

Peter is a fresh, healthy, tossed salad slathered in rich, delicious dressing. So many textures, sinfully yummy and yet so good for you. Feel free to eat all the salad you want with none of the guilt!

How could Kellan be anything but a thick, juicy, delectable piece of man-steak? I mean seriously...don'tcha just wanna carve that up, sink your teeth into it and feel it melt in your mouth? Just hearing his name uttered causes me to salivate like a Pavlovian dog.

And then there's the mouthwatering, luscious dessert that is Robert. Sweet and sinful...and you know you shouldn't have it, but it's just too alluring and irresistable to pass up. So you eat it; indulging yourself as your eyes roll back in your head at the sheer ecstasy when the ambrosia bathes your tongue and tastebuds in culinary rapture.

Thank you, Chef Hardwick, your menu was impeccable. The ambience was tolerable and the service could have been better. But the meal was mind-blowingly scrumptous.

What's your pleasure? Are you a salad lover? A snacker that could make an entire meal from the appetizer? A meat & taters kinda gal? Or are you one of those who skips the meal and goes straight for the dessert cart? Me? I'm an equal opportunity glutton and I want a ten course meal.

Next up? I'm critiquing the food at Chez Weitz. I've heard its much more upscale. My plan is to slip the Maitre'd a $20 for a table by the fire and cleanse my palate between courses with a nice glass of Alex Meraz...ahem....sorry.....Shiraz.


  1. Hahaha! Loved it! I can just imagine the fun you had dreaming those menu descriptions up ;o).

    I prefer to skip the appetizer myself, saving myself for the other courses. Of course, if there's something tempting on offer at Chez Weitz I may be prepared to have a rethink...

  2. I will just skip to the dessert please!!!!! Another great post Mama Cougar--you are a natural. Let's not forget our Charlie/Billy. Look what I found posted on my FB page today--you might just like this!


    SO ordering the green one as soon as I get home.

  4. Don't forget to wear your pornstache with it!