Sunday, October 11, 2009

Yeah, he's my Edward

I am one lucky, lucky girl.

I'm talkin' hit-the-Mega-Millions-Jackpot-of-life-partners for the last 22.5 years lucky.

Yeah, think you're lucky too, right?

So your spouse picks up his dirty underwear once in a while and mows the lawn. Heck, he took you to an expensive restaurant and endured a chick flick for your anniversary. He even held your hair out of the way once or twice when you had morning sickness.

Sure. You're lucky.

But not as lucky as I am.

And here's why:

Last year, my daughter and I threw an EPIC Twilight DvD Release Party.

Hubby was fully aware that our house would be invaded by Twihards, that we would likely be heavily under the influence of our

"Isle Esme Punch"

for most of the evening and swooning over other men. Still, he took one for the team and waited on us hand and foot all night, bringing drinks and cleaning up our

mushroom ravioli dinner

while we played TwiTrivia and descended into Twilight induced stupors.

And then he held my hair out of the way for me.

And that's just the tip of the Twiceberg.

I came home from work once to find this:

on my dresser.

If you don't know what it is, do us all a favor and go back to Twischool.

Did I mention that when he bought it, it was pine green and he painstakingly taped off the tires, windows, tiny little lights, etc. and painted it yellow for me?

The man is an angel I tell you. Sent to me straight from heaven.

And that's not all.

He didn't bat a single eyelash when I told him that I booked myself and my daughter on the Twilight Fans Cruise, to the tune of $3000. Instead, he shrugged and said "Can I come along?" to which I kissed him madly, said "HELL YES" and then informed my daughter that she had better find a friend on the cruise because daddy and I would be requiring privacy in our stateroom quite often.

You want more? Can you handle more?

Okay, you asked for it.

When I came home from a jewelry party wearing this custom made bracelet:

He held my wrist up to examine it and said, "Babe...we need to get you a wolf charm." I wanted to spread him on a cracker and eat him.

One day, he came home from buying work shoes for himself with a present for me. It was not a dozen roses, or a box of chocolates, or even pair of cubic zirconia earrings. It was this:

Enough said.

In fact, just yesterday, my angel was sitting on the couch and I was in my chair. We were just chatting about our pre-gaming plans for the night of the New Moon Midnight Premiere when he looked at the bookshelf behind me, squinting and wrinkling his nose.

So, having been properly baited, I said, "What is it honey?" To which he replies, "Hmmm. Your Twilight books. They're out of order."

Yes, my man knows the order of the books, because he has read them cover to cover twice.

He gets up from the couch and approaches the bookshelf, and does this.

"There, that's better." he says.

We almost didn't make it to the bedroom.

And then this morning I'm at the sink cleaning up after breakfast when he approaches me from behind, all smelling good from the shower which in and of itself is enough, if you know what I mean. But then, I feel him pull my hair away from my neck and his warm breath on the back of my ear. And then, he says this:

"Hold very still."

(A heavenly pause during which I literally cannot move.)

"Don't move," he whispered in my ear.

And I bet you can probably guess what happened after that.

Like I said, I'm a lucky, lucky girl.

Are you lucky too? If so...tell me about it. Because hubs reads my blog and although he does pretty well on his own, new ideas are always welcome!


  1. If I say I hate you, you know what I mean, right? Well then, I hate you.

  2. I'm crying, Mary... My sorry single ass is crying...

    Can you make a copy of him - a something-like-30-YO copy? - and send it to me with the first plane available? I want one!!!

    Frankly I have no idea to submit to him... Just keep him, preciously, because I know many women who would dream to have the same...

    My crying sorry single ass step out now...

    oh and as TwiWeasel said... I hate you... And I love you... Altogether.

    Hugs and kisses!


  3. Mary! How very envious I am of you! Can your husband run classes called something like "How to be the PERFECT partner"? In that case, my boyfriend is going back to school! :)

    Envious, but happy for the both of you!

    Hugs, Linn

    P.S. Hope we can cry together! :P

  4. @TwiWeasel I totally get that you hate me. I forgive you.

    @Marie My cloning experiments are going well. I'll send you his DNA as soon as it's ready.

    @Linn Hmmmm. He's not much of a teacher, but I'll ask. What would we call the class? Edwardian Behavior 101?

  5. Hi. I came over from Twitarded....

    No suggestions, my mind's too busy envying you... Sorry about that.

    Just ley me know when those classes start...


  6. Um,err,um definitely not so lucky. Mr. VitaminR will not touch the books with a 10 foot pole and barely tolerates my addiction. Though to his credit he has been involved and even assisted in many Pocket Edward adventures. Um, did I mention I think he only tolerates my addiction due to the fanfic benefits? When your husband comes up with his class curriculum (even this word looks dirty to me these days!)--pass it along please.

  7. Ooohh Mary your hubby sounds ideal!
    I have my Mr Mary in training, and he's doing well..ish. He's bought me a couple of RPatz books, without me asking. He came home with a poster and didn't moan when I put it up in his cave (office)
    So far he's refused to paint himself white,sit in the freezer and cover himself in sparkles, but I'm working on it ;)
    Mary xxx

  8. tee hee!!!

    Mama!! I am sooo working on MrB... I asked him just yesterday, as I was rereading twilight for the 5th time... "MrB?" I says, "If I asked you to, would you read the series for me?" I looked at him through my long lashes, giving him my best edwardian stare. He looked at me, grimaced a little, but nontheless said, "If you reeeeally wanted me to, I would." ...Nuff said! we were off to bed! lol!
    looks like he got out of it this time! lol! maybe he read a page or two from the saga... hmm... guess I will never know! lol!
    Although!! He does read my fan fiction story, Witch Twins, when I request it... I am sure he doesn't understand it fully because my characters havent yet been in the movies!

    BUT!!! I came home the other day and guess what was in the dvd player just waiting to be watched! with the dinner he so lovingly prepared! you guessed it! TWILIGHT!!!

    luv ya mare!!


  9. O.o Do you actually try to make me hate you Mare Bear? Seriously.

    I literally squealed when I saw the pic of how he fixed the books so they were in order. That too perfect. You know this right?

    *Carolyn sighs*

    *shakes head*

  10. Wow, that's one smart husband you've got there! Mine is a Twi-newbie, but he's well on his way...

    We actually got through all of the Harry Potter books by me reading them aloud during long road trips. After I'd been through the Twilight series (I'm relatively new myself), I bought the movie and he watched it with me. Since he liked it, I told him he should read the books... and hey, I could read them to him if he wanted? ;-)

    He agreed, we just finished BD last week... he's a fan, though not completely sucked in (yet), but I have a feeling he's going to get there.

    Earlier this week there was a spoiler clip of the kissing scene by Bella's truck making the rounds. I won't describe it in case anyone's reading who doesn't want spoilers (it's since been taken down), but suffice it to say... OMG. It was enough to send me over the edge. I literally pummeled my husband that night. Of course, he wondered what brought THAT on... and I told him. Now he's even more interested to see New Moon (already have tickets), or at least, he's interested to get me home afterwards ;-).

    I think the smart husbands are the ones who see the potential for Twilight to benefit them... all they have to do is indulge us in our little fantasy world every now and again (reading your description of the "Don't move"... interchange? *thud*) and we'll certainly reciprocate in payback :-).