Thursday, October 22, 2009

Double My Pleasure?

I was asked via Twitter today, if I planned to see the Twilight/New Moon "double feature" on opening night 11/20. I had to read and reread that request about ten times before I fully understood it, because frankly, it never occurred to me that Summit Entertainment would be ballsy enough to play the two back-to-back to the very same audience.

Now, I loved liked Twilight. I really did. It was a good* movie...a relatively decent adaptation of a book that I love and have read cover to cover at least half a dozen times. (*disclaimer - minus the meadow scene and the "spider monkey" line - which I just retyped about 20 times because even my fingers refuse to believe that ridiculous drivel made it into the movie).
And frankly, when the big screen is constantly inhabited by the blinding prettiness of RPatz

or KLutz,

they could be monologuing from the damn Webster's Dictionary and I couldn't have cared less.

But, alas...Twilight is a "hot dog" movie.

Hot dogs can be very good. Add a little ketchup, some thinly sliced red onion, toast the bun with butter and you've got yourself a tasty little treat. You can probably eat more than one per meal, too. (Which explains why, on multiple occasions, I have watched it twice in one sitting.)

Now...New Moon?

Summit has been teasingly naughty enough to post various scenes and trailers all over the internet - including a seriously badass looking Paul-to-Wolf transformation yesterday, and just today, part of the fight scene in the Volturi chambers that literally had me stuttering, trembling and losing bladder control. From what little I have already seen, it's apparent that New Moon is going to be a big, fat, juicy Filet Mignon. Please God...let it be big and fat. And juicy. Please...juicy. response to the "Double Feature" question, my answer is unequivocally, HELL TO THE NO.

I can already tell that watching the two back-to-back will magnify the painfully apparent flaws in Twilight, and damn it...I just wanna enjoy my hot dog without guilt or shame, even if I do fast forward every time Edward throws Bella onto his back for that ridiculous trip "up the mountain, out of the cloud bank".

I like hot dogs.

I LOVE steaks.

But the two should never occupy the same plate.

EVER, you say?

No, not at all. (Cute sideways smile - an ode to Edward's bedroom scene.)

It's just not fair to the hot dog.


  1. Best analogy you've ever written.

    I wholeheartedly agree with you.

    But let's be honest,
    I'm getting completely wasted after the first round while killing time before I see it again that night. So in my drunkenness extravaganza's, I'm sure that watching Twilight will seem like a good idea at the time.

    I'm dreading it already. lol

  2. Great post.

    I fell in love with Twilight because of the movie and then the books (had not read them before seeing the film).

    So while it holds a special place in my heart, I won't see it right before New Moon because it would just be way too much. I want to enjoy New Moon on it's own and what I've seen so far looks beyond amazing.

    Thanks for the link to the Volturi fighting scene. Had not watched it yet and am still freaking out over it!!! Hurry Nov. 20th!!!!