Monday, November 23, 2009

Sobered up Monday

Yup. I saw it three times this weekend. Yup. Still love it. And Yup. I want to take Chris Weitz into the Den and do deliciously naughty things to him to show him my appreciation.

"Wow....ummmm...that's not what I had in mind when I said "roll it" but hey, who am I to judge? You go for it Mama. I'll just watch."

Of course, now that the high has abated, I did find a few nitpicky things I want to blog about, if only to get them off my chest so that I can go see the movie again tonight with my Unicorn at 8:30.

#1 - "Critical Reviews"

Dear Media-Type, "Professional" Movie Critics,


Now, I know your Ivy League educations and overinflated egos make it damned near impossible for you not to make your opinions known. But conversely, the audience this movie was made for does not give a fat rat's ass what you think about it. Your thoughts on the movie (which are more often than not, based more on how you will look to your movie reviewer peers than the wild concept that you may have actually read the books) mean as much to the Twilight fan base as Sarah Palin's thoughts on just about anything mean to the Republicans Democrats. So, do us all a favor, and go see 2012, Avatar, or Men who screw Watch Goats and write reviews on that. We don't need you and we will speak with our wallets. In fact, I think we already have. Let me give you a number you will understand. $250+ million worldwide in it's opening weekend. Review that you marionette butt monkeys!

"New Moon sucked. What is New Moon anyway? I think I ate Chinese there once. It gave me the trots so it must suck. Let's go with that."

#2 - The Frolicking

This appears to be the biggest complaint of the fandom. Alice's vision of Bella as a vamp was shared with Aro to placate him and make it possible for the trio to escape the Volturi chambers alive. I for one, was REALLY stoked and praying what we would see would be Bellaward embracing in the garden of their cottage while they both sparkled, all happily-ever-after like. Instead....we got the forest frolick.

" run like a penguin." - Bella
"Yeah, well that dress makes you look like Laura Ingalls Wilder." - Edward

Yes, Chris. You got this part wrong. Or, there's some yummy extras on the DvD that will explain this and we haven't seen them yet. Whatever. Too late to fix it now, so we'll all just squint during this part and see if we can make Bella look voluptuous in a blue silk dress and Edward will just lean against a tree in jeans and an unbuttoned white oxford and marvel at her speed.

PS - Summit, since you fired Rachelle, maybe you could see your way to bring her back to teach RPatz how to run properly before you start shooting BD. That woman is a straight-up badass runner from every angle.

So that's it for my sobered up Monday. I'm on my way to buy turkey brining supplies and will then come home and chain myself to a fence post to keep from going to the theater before my scheduled 8:30 showing. Tomorrow (if YouTube will quit being a crotchblocker), I plan to Vlog about my favorite lines by each character, as well as the one line that made me wince. C' KNEW there had to be ONE. Twilight had it's "spider monkey" and New Moon has one too. Can you guess what it is?


  1. I'm guessing it's when Jacob calls Bella "Hooka" when she arrives at his house with the bikes. *shudders*

    Mind you, there were a few that took me a while to just accept. But I can't remember them. Clearly I've done a good job at blocking them from my memory. =]

  2. He calls her Hooka??? I thought he said "Loca" which I assumed was a Quiluete term meaning "crazy". Perhaps it's me that's crazy?

    Again with me stating the obvious.

  3. Hey Mary- actually Jacob does call her "luca" which is spanish for crazy, but is a term of endearment- he mentioned in an interview that he speaks spanish and Quiluette ?sp? in the movie- so this must be the spanish he was talking about. There is a long thread about the Quillute he whispers to Bella before the almost kiss on twilightMOMs- where I have been living the last few days to get my "fix" ok, there and the theater, I have seen it 5 times and plan to go back alone again today at 12 before school break starts and all my kids are home! As far as the Quilluete phrase, those that have been researching it seem to be coming up with "stay with me forever"

    hmmmm- as far as the line that made you cringe- there is only one at this moment that comes to mind- when Jacob says "this could get VERY ugly" maybe it was the way he said it- but he should have stopped at "dont.... get me upset" that was awsome, and more than enough.
    Yea, the cheesy running makes me wince, try to focus on Bella's eyes and sparkle which are the only redeeming qualities of that clip- ugg
    Really Chris could have "saved" it by really just putting them in normal freaking clothes. some jeans and stretch cotton t's. For Gods sake bella would not wear that dress- where the hell were they running? And that vest-come on. They could have just been in the meadow lying next to each other sparkling and the moment would have been perfect!
    BTW- are you on facebook with us fellow cruisers? I dont have a blog, but I am there and have pics from the NM premiere party I had on Thursday. my email if you like is
    see ya!

  4. Sandy - totally agreed re: The "This could get VERY ugly" line, I thought it a bit awkward and wasn't sure if it was in there for drama or comic relief....but it did make everyone in the theater laugh, so I'll go with comic relief.

    Yes, Ive gotten translations on all of the foreign languages including the latin that Aro uses in the Volturi chambers..which is loosely, "make a choice, it must be one or the other".

    "Stay with me forever" is the translation of what Jake said, and well....ew. I wish they'd just had him say it in English.

    Hmmm....I'll email you today, I'd like to join the Facebook party, and I'll be needing a link!


  5. I like your translation of Aro's latin much better, the translations others were coming up with were somewhat close to that but did not make as much sense- email with ya later...

  6. HA!! I've figured it out-

    "I've got a vampire to kill!"

  7. Well, this is my first step into the Cougar's Den (srsly, Twilight plus cougars? how have I not found you guys before?). Glad to find my brethren ;) Over at The Twiangle we call ourselevs "pumas". Ha!

    The frolicking scene was ridiculous. Kept telling myself that the people who dressed Alice were the same idiots who did the "wardrobe" for this scene. Weitz, please explain!

    And thank you for telling off the "movie critics". They know the movie is so popular they all feel the need to safely lob up a negative review. Pfft.