Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Happy Birthday Soul Sister! - The Press Box

If any event could haul my sorry, lazy ass out of bloggy oblivion, it's this day.

That's right. Leaked Breaking Dawn footage? Meh. Pap photos of Rob's semi-erect junk under thin sweatpants? *YAWN* Whatever. Stealth video of Kris and Rob dry humping on a hotel balcony? Epic eyeroll.

But this event?

The day set aside each year to commemorate the birth of my one and only Soul Sister, 17ForeverLisa?


"Because Lisa, your birth is definitely something to celebrate." -MC

Like so many of us Twi-besties, Lisa and I met through the Twitarded blog, a few months before New Moon came out on DvD. We discovered our relative geographical closeness (although we both agree that even three hours is MUCH too far), that we were both sports fans, are close in age, and our husbands share a name. But most of all, we discovered our unnatural, bordering-on-obsessive addiction to some very pretty boys and a series of books & movies called The Twilight Saga.

And the rest, they say, is Twistory.

"To us, she'll always be THIS. Frozen. Never moving forward." - MC

I invited Lisa to my New Moon DvD release party, and by some miracle of faith, she agreed to haul her happy ass to my house in the middle of fucking Nowheresville to hang out with strangers. I think it took all of three seconds before she became a part of our family.

"Bitch, I love you. You don't know how long I've waited for you."  - MC
"Whorebag, you are my life now." - Lisa

Since then, we've had some of the most memorable adventures two old, crazy Rob/Jackson lovers could ever imagine. We traveled North to meet the Twilight Junkies Anonymous...

"Pssssst. Lisa. I think they're as crazy as we are." - MC
 "I know, right? SCORE!" - Lisa

We shared in the glory of Eclipseward on the IMAX, and then proceeded to spend 2.5 hours looking for a fucking Chili's. Three beers later, we were reduced to trying to catch each other farting & tweeting the .wav files to the masses. I woke up the next morning to discover the bitch had ACTUALLY taped me snoring and put it on her blog. And HELL NO, I'm not linking that shit. If you're that excited about my sleep apnea, you'll have to wade through Lisa's colon blog. 

"Yeah, whatever. I'm your number one fan too, asshole." - MC

We traveled together to the promised land of FFFOOORRRKKSS with the Twitarded gals and I learned more about whale/water phobia than I ever expected to, when Lisa clung to me for dear life on the Ferry. Truth? It kinda turned me on.

" And so the lion falls in love with the lamb."-Lisa
"I'd better be the fucking Lion." - MC

Our next adventure was my Eclipse DvD release party where my girl agreed she needed to spend the entire weekend in my den so she could enjoy a couple of good ole' fashioned bean flicks to all my TwiPorn.

"Sure, MC....I 'went to my happy place' in your guest room, but I brought my own Clorox Wipes, so there's that."  - Lisa

"Ummmm......Lisa? That's NOT the Golden Onion." - MC

"There ya go. Although, I really did enjoy the boob grope." - MC

Our next adventure brought us to New York City where we got in some quality, creepy Rob-stalking, attending both the Water For Elephants Red Carpet Premiere as well as Rob's appearance on Live! with Regis & Kelly.  

"We are SOFA KING cray-cray, but Godammit, I love us."  - WFE h00rs

Our most recent Twi-scapade took us to the Windy City where we enjoyed some quality time with our favorite Texan, Jackson Rathbone and his fabulous 100 Monkeys in concert at the House of Blues. Lots of Twitards in attendance and Lisa winning a private meet-n-greet made the evening so full of fucking WIN that we spent the next several days smiling like a couple of cats shitting razor blades.

"Yeah, House of Blues ain't ready for this jelly." - Jude
"Jelly? Fuck that shit. We're bacon & eggs." - Mandy & Nic

"OH MY GOD it's Lisa's Birthday!"  - Jax

So dear Lisa, all kidding aside, I want you to know what meeting you has meant to me. It's meant finding that rare soul with which you can share a deep passion and understand its roots. It's meant knowing that the very moment that awesome photo or video clip hits the interwebs, three hours away someone who "gets you" is squeeing just as loudly as you are. It's meant having a person....that person, your person. The one who doesn't make you feel ashamed, or silly...who doesn't belittle you for loving what you love and pursuing your passion.

Lisa, you are MY person.

"Bitch, I love you. Let's get eaten together." - MC
 "You had me at eaten."  - Lisa
"Word." - MC

Here's to many, many more adventures in Twi-fuckery with my one and only Soul Sister.

Love Always,


Keep Lisa's party going and visit these other ballpark venues:


  1. very sweet!
    Happy birthday Lisa

  2. Holy crap Mary....pass me the fucking Sniffs tissues....crying over here. Love you ladies. Happy birthday Lisa!!!! May beanie Rob molest you in your dreams tonight....and me too. :P

  3. Oh and thanks Mary for the VitR candids.

  4. Love all the pictures. Happy Birthday Lisa!!

  5. As if the whole post wasn't sweet enough, you killed me with "you are MY person" and isn't she just that.
    Love you for loving Lisa...
    One more time: Happy Birthday Lisa

  6. AWe, I think I teared up a little. That was the sweetest!! The pics are great!

  7. Spent equal time there snorting with laughter and sniffling at the touching parts. And that's touching as in moving, not in reference to the bean flicking, jftr.

    Love you both! xx

    Epic veriword btw! - tograbl (I can only assume that the l stands for Lisa)

  8. Get a room! Oh wait, you already did!

    I can send you the "sign" if you want.

  9. Aw sweet post!!! Soul sisters are awesome, so glad you and Lisa have such an amazing friendship. The quotes on this post are hilarious! If I didn't have so much work to do right now because I've been reading blog posts all day, I'd go search for that snoring vid. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!

  10. Love you two Soul Sista' glad you met and built the bond that you have. AND so awesome that only 3 hours divids you...that's like driving from San Diego to Hollywood in traffic...No biggie!

    Great post MC, got a little teary, must admit.

    xo J

  11. Happy Birthday Lisa!!

    JFC I teared up reading this, tears of laughter & the tugging at my heartstrings. Lisa is the sweetest wise-ass ever!! She was one of the first people in the fandom I ever contacted when I commented on her blog. She was also one of my first twitter followers on the day I signed up. I feel blessed to have seen you two person...twice! Such a great post for a great woman. Well done MC!


  12. MC - your post is soooo sweet! When I've been with you and Lisa together, it is obvious that you two have an unbreakable bond! And Twilight brought you together! That's an amazing thing.

    I flove the pb&J pic!

    And yes, we are as crazy as y'all! Just sayin...


  13. MC this post is full of epic win. So beautifully written and full of truth. I love you captions of the pictures and hearing both of you in them. I am so glad you found each other and that you complete each other... it is funny that Lisa seems to complete a lot of us :) I look forward to your further TwiAdventures and hope I can partake in some of them too :)

  14. Crying in my car. Just fucking lovely. Oh my GAWD I can't even imagine life without you bitches in it. MWAH xxxxx

  15. Love the pics and love remembering all the crazy times we spent together. If it weren't for you two and Marie I wouldn't have been a part of this wonderful batshit crazy place and I will forever remember the amazingness that came from stalking the pretty and Jax!

  16. Seriously, Mary? Seriously?!! I shouldn't have read this at work. *reaches for more Kleenex*

    The Press Box pic is too funny. Look at us up there toasting Vitamin R!

    The Lisa P. video cracked my ass up. For those of you who don't know, that's what her family refers to me as. The first time I met her youngest daughter, she said, "So this is the infamous Lisa P." Ruh-roh.

    Thank you for the trip down memory lane with pictures from all of our adventures. Like everyone else, I freaking love the captions. The best part is that I know it's just the beginning for us.

    That picture of Jax? Um. Yeah. Pretty sure he's saying, "OH MY GOD it's this big!" Unf! I'll never forget watching you watch Jackson at the concert. I literally had to help you close your mouth at one point. LOL!

    All I can say is that I am one lucky bitch to be YOUR person. You truly are my Soul Sister, and I would not have wanted to take this journey without you. You were with me the first time I saw Rob and Jackson. You'd better be with me when I see Rob and Jackson together. God help us all ;)

    I love you, your family, your friends, and the bean(ie). And, Bitch? You had me at "Go Illini!"


    Stan - tograbl

    VitaminR70 - You rock my world! XO

    rottymama - LMAO!! We did get a room didn't we...more than once ;)

    Micki_Martini - MWAH! Wisconsin is NOT that far away. We definitely have to get together again.

    Fran and Sharon - *sniffs* Thanks, girls.

    Thanks again to everyone who participated, commented, and sent birthday wishes. I'm still shaking my head over it all.

  17. PS: Here is the link to my blog post where you can here a cougar purr ;)

  18. ^^^ OMG you insufferable WHOREBAG! ^^^



  19. Simply beautiful post bb!

  20. I just came back here to see Lisa's comments on this post and don't see my comment. I honestly left a comment here as I did everywhere for Lisa's birthday. So I'm going to try this again.

    I crack up every time I see 'Adventureland' and see the Lisa P. part SINCE having met her.

    Who has more fun than you guys do...together? (don't say Rob and Kristen)

    Fab post and thank you for sharing all these great moments of your epic friendship. :)

  21. "Pap photos of Rob's semi-erect junk under thin sweatpants? *YAWN* Whatever. Stealth video of Kris and Rob dry humping on a hotel balcony? Epic eyeroll."