Wednesday, October 6, 2010

FFFFOOORRRKKSSS Fuckery at it's Finest!

R to L: Standing: Myg, JJ, Me, LKW, VitR & Snarky. Kneeling: CCC & TM.

Holy Amazeballs batman - Who the hell are these certifiable h00rs?!?
Can you even believe that bucket full of crazyy?!?
Well, I can't either!

I just keep repeating to myself,
"I actually met Jenny Jerkface."
"I said hello to LatchkeyWife."
"I hugged SnarkierThanYou. HARD."
"I loved Myg with all my heart."
"I motorboated VitaminR70's bewbs."
 I really, really did all that.
What a fuckin' lucky bitch I am!"

What kind of VagSlice would I be if I didn't share parts of my adventure with all of you? So of course, I bring you not one, not two, but three new Cougar's Den Episodes!

Episode #40 was shot in the Hoh Forest just outside Forks. 

Hoes Mama Cougar, CullenClanCrazy and TatooMickey all up in the Hoh babyyyyyy!

Episode #41 takes place on Second Beach at LaPush after newly anointed Cougars CullenClanCrazy, TatooMickey and I drank a bottle of Vampire Cabernet on the beach. (***CoughAndMaybeaBottleofWhiteZinCough***)
(Sorry about the rough audio...turn your speakers WAY up - it was windy & shit.)

This third vid is a "quickie" - shot as Mama & TatooMickey, in a moment of true Twitardedness, underestimate the incoming tide and take an unplanned plunge in the Pacific, thereby ruining Mama's cell phone and drenching us both so thoroughly that we had to ride back to Forks in our skivies. Unfortch, Charlie didn't pull us over, because we were totally ready to do nasty stuffs to the Police Chief.

Chief Swan, we've been very bad. We may or may not have committed a felony. I think we might need a cavity search. By the way Chief, we're huge fans of your womb broom. Pornstache FOREVA.

For an album full of more ridiculous still pics, CLICK HERE.

More to come (gigglesnicker - I said "come") as soon as I recover from what was truly a life-altering experience.



  1. It was incredible meeting you in real life and being able to hug you. Too much fun was had but also not enough. I am so glad we had the chance to spend some time together. Thanks for taking care of my Living with Edward buddy :) Until next time.

  2. OMG you kill me! pmsl! Loved the vids, classic!
    xo J

  3. I feel the same way in awe of everyone!
    I wanted to hear you say bewbs. :(
    Mama C, I should have just reach over and gave you a big hug and smushed Red Bella instead of shaking your hand!!

    It was very nice to meet you. And yes you have some amazing blue eyes!


  4. OMG,'re killing me here!! I loved your videos!! You do have to watch out for that Pacific will sneak up on you when you're least expecting it.

    Loved giving you a hug in Foooorks, "cruise buddy!" :-) *giggles*

  5. Mama_cougs, you are too much awesome for one Myg. One of the biggest thrills of the whole trip was the one drink I had at your table. And DAMN how I wish I was there for the La Push video! xoxo

  6. OMG, I love the videos and the third video... LOL! That happen to CC too! :) I am so happy everyone had an amazing trip-probably the only way I would have gone to Forks (cause hubby wasn't offering.) *hugs*

  7. LOVE the vids!!! i was so happy to meet you irl - felt like it was just catching up with a friend i'd known *forever* in the best possible way!

    p.s. you did that "Frisk me, Charlie!" pose against the cop car like you'd been there before...



    lurv you HARD


  8. Gah! I almost forgot to get back over here to watch the videos since I couldn't watch them at work.

    The Quickie video is absolutely hilarious!!!! Who is that laughing? That's what killed me the most, and I'm pretty sure I heard you yell, "Fuck!" Sorry about your cell phone, but that is funny shit.

    You know I love ya, girl! Two months until your Eclipse DVD party and I get to sleep with you again ;)



  9. @17ForeverLisa - that's totes Sandy giggling her ass off because we realized we were fucked after wave #1. God, we're such ocean n00bs!

    @SnarkierThanYou FORKS2011 WILL HAPPEN.

    @Myg I have no words for the depth of my lurve for you.

    @Rena - Prepare yourself. FORKS2011 is your coming out party!

  10. omfg, I can tell you guys had such an awesome time!! Second beach is breathtaking in the vid; I can't imagine it in person. That last video was absolutely hysterical!! I would so be pissing my pants. idk... Forks 2011 is looking mighty tempting...

  11. Oh honey...I am so sorry I am so late to this party. These vids were so so awesome. I love you hard. Next half rack of VitRs...the end. It will happen. I love you so much. You fucking kill me. XOXOXOXO

  12. I know I'm late as usual. Totally deserve a spanking.

    Your videos slay me. Especially the one of y'all getting clobbered by the ocean. I had a few scares myself. Next time, maybe we can all spend some time at La Push together, ya know?

    I really wish I had been able to spend a lot of time with you. Because I didn't - and I really wanted to. Raincheck, Mama?