If any event could haul my sorry, lazy ass out of bloggy oblivion, it's this day.
That's right. Leaked Breaking Dawn footage? Meh. Pap photos of Rob's semi-erect junk under thin sweatpants? *YAWN* Whatever. Stealth video of Kris and Rob dry humping on a hotel balcony? Epic eyeroll.
But this event?
The day set aside each year to commemorate the birth of my one and only Soul Sister, 17ForeverLisa?
I'M ALL OVER THAT SHIT LIKE SPARKLES ON THE PEEN.
"Because Lisa, your birth is definitely something to celebrate." -MC
Like so many of us Twi-besties, Lisa and I met through the Twitarded blog, a few months before New Moon came out on DvD. We discovered our relative geographical closeness (although we both agree that even three hours is MUCH too far), that we were both sports fans, are close in age, and our husbands share a name. But most of all, we discovered our unnatural, bordering-on-obsessive addiction to some very pretty boys and a series of books & movies called The Twilight Saga.
And the rest, they say, is Twistory.
"To us, she'll always be THIS. Frozen. Never moving forward." - MC
"To us, she'll always be THIS. Frozen. Never moving forward." - MC
I invited Lisa to my New Moon DvD release party, and by some miracle of faith, she agreed to haul her happy ass to my house in the middle of fucking Nowheresville to hang out with strangers. I think it took all of three seconds before she became a part of our family.
"Bitch, I love you. You don't know how long I've waited for you." - MC
"Whorebag, you are my life now." - Lisa
Since then, we've had some of the most memorable adventures two old, crazy Rob/Jackson lovers could ever imagine. We traveled North to meet the Twilight Junkies Anonymous...
"Pssssst. Lisa. I think they're as crazy as we are." - MC
"I know, right? SCORE!" - Lisa
We shared in the glory of Eclipseward on the IMAX, and then proceeded to spend 2.5 hours looking for a fucking Chili's. Three beers later, we were reduced to trying to catch each other farting & tweeting the .wav files to the masses. I woke up the next morning to discover the bitch had ACTUALLY taped me snoring and put it on her blog. And HELL NO, I'm not linking that shit. If you're that excited about my sleep apnea, you'll have to wade through Lisa's colon blog.
"Yeah, whatever. I'm your number one fan too, asshole." - MC
We traveled together to the promised land of FFFOOORRRKKSS with the Twitarded gals and I learned more about whale/water phobia than I ever expected to, when Lisa clung to me for dear life on the Ferry. Truth? It kinda turned me on.
" And so the lion falls in love with the lamb."-Lisa
"I'd better be the fucking Lion." - MC
Our next adventure was my Eclipse DvD release party where my girl agreed she needed to spend the entire weekend in my den so she could enjoy a couple of good ole' fashioned bean flicks to all my TwiPorn.
"Sure, MC....I 'went to my happy place' in your guest room, but I brought my own Clorox Wipes, so there's that." - Lisa
"Ummmm......Lisa? That's NOT the Golden Onion." - MC
"There ya go. Although, I really did enjoy the boob grope." - MC
Our next adventure brought us to New York City where we got in some quality, creepy Rob-stalking, attending both the Water For Elephants Red Carpet Premiere as well as Rob's appearance on Live! with Regis & Kelly.
"We are SOFA KING cray-cray, but Godammit, I love us." - WFE h00rs
Our most recent Twi-scapade took us to the Windy City where we enjoyed some quality time with our favorite Texan, Jackson Rathbone and his fabulous 100 Monkeys in concert at the House of Blues. Lots of Twitards in attendance and Lisa winning a private meet-n-greet made the evening so full of fucking WIN that we spent the next several days smiling like a couple of cats shitting razor blades.
"Yeah, House of Blues ain't ready for this jelly." - Jude
"Jelly? Fuck that shit. We're bacon & eggs." - Mandy & Nic
"OH MY GOD it's Lisa's Birthday!" - Jax
So dear Lisa, all kidding aside, I want you to know what meeting you has meant to me. It's meant finding that rare soul with which you can share a deep passion and understand its roots. It's meant knowing that the very moment that awesome photo or video clip hits the interwebs, three hours away someone who "gets you" is squeeing just as loudly as you are. It's meant having a person....that person, your person. The one who doesn't make you feel ashamed, or silly...who doesn't belittle you for loving what you love and pursuing your passion.
Lisa, you are MY person.
"Bitch, I love you. Let's get eaten together." - MC
"You had me at eaten." - Lisa
"Word." - MC
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!
Here's to many, many more adventures in Twi-fuckery with my one and only Soul Sister.
Love Always,
MC
Keep Lisa's party going and visit these other ballpark venues:
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